Regaining Peace When Life Feels Out of Control
When Stress Takes the Wheel: Letting Go of What You Can’t Control
We’ve all been there—lying awake at night replaying conversations, worrying about what might happen tomorrow, or carrying the weight of outcomes that are completely outside our hands. It’s exhausting, and often, it leaves us feeling powerless.
The truth is, so much of life sits beyond our control. The weather, other people’s choices, unexpected disruptions—none of these respond to how tightly we grip them in our minds. Yet still, we stress, overthink, and drain ourselves trying to manage the unmanageable.
Lizzy’s Story
Lizzy came to coaching at a time when stress was consuming her. She was constantly worrying about her workplace—decisions from senior management, office politics, even whether colleagues liked her or not. Every small change felt like a storm she had to prepare for, even though none of it was in her hands.
Through coaching, Lizzy began to notice a pattern: she was spending most of her energy on things she had no control over. When her coach asked, “What’s actually within your power here?”, it was like a light switching on. Slowly, she learned to separate what she could influence—her performance, her communication, her boundaries—from the things she couldn’t, like her manager’s choices or her company’s restructuring.
The shift was gradual but powerful. Lizzy started practising daily check-ins, asking herself: “Am I holding onto something that isn’t mine?” Bit by bit, the weight lifted. She began to sleep better, breathe easier, and smile more often. What she regained was not just clarity—it was peace. Her external world hadn’t changed much, but her inner world had softened and steadied. That peace became her anchor.
Why We Stress Over the Uncontrollable
At its core, stress is our body’s way of preparing for a challenge. But when we misdirect that energy toward things we can’t change, it turns into frustration, anxiety, and burnout. It feels like pressing the accelerator while the car is in neutral—you burn fuel but go nowhere.
The Power of Perspective
Shifting perspective can be freeing. Ask yourself:
Is this within my control?
Am I worrying about something I can actually influence, or something that belongs to someone else?
What can I let go of, so I can put my energy where it matters?
These small questions create distance between you and the stress, reminding you that not every storm needs your umbrella.
A Simple Exercise to Regain Peace
If you find yourself caught in worry, try this quick reflection tool:
Draw two circles on a piece of paper.
Label the first one “Within My Control”.
Label the second one “Outside My Control”.
List your worries inside the circles. Be honest—write everything down.
Choose one action from the “Within My Control” circle that you can do today.
Take a breath and consciously release what’s in the “Outside My Control” circle. You don’t need to carry it—it was never yours to hold.
This small practice helps bring you back to what matters, and with time, it creates space for peace to return.
Letting Go Isn’t Weakness
Letting go doesn’t mean giving up. It means recognising that peace comes from acceptance. Imagine how much lighter life could feel if you stopped carrying battles that were never yours to fight.
Note: This blog was developed with the support of AI tools to enhance research and clarity, while drawing on the professional expertise of Danielle Rowley, a leadership and coaching specialist with experience in positive psychology and organisational development. The insights and exercises reflect real-world coaching practice aimed at helping readers regain peace and resilience.